I know that no Guns or Roses have moustaches. You see, I was having a tortured internal debate about whether I should be Axl Rose or Slash for Halloween. I thought that maybe watching Guns N'Roses videos on YouTube would help me to decide; but, alas, my decision became even more difficult to make. I realized that I was in over my head and reacted as any rational person would: I shaved my two weeks of full beard into some handlebars.
All of my years watching comedy films have convinced me that not only is my moustache stylish, but it's also a great career move. I could easily become an orderly, a wrestler or a race car driver. If nothing else, my current job is now more extreme.