Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I’m taking this brief respite from my indefinite sabbatical from blogging to commemorate a momentous event in my life. I like to think of it as a sabbatical sabbatical. Here we go…

(drum roll)

At some point in the past 24 hours I reached a major milestone in my daily pursuit to remain alive. By my rough calculations*, I just passed the 1 billion second mark. That’s right - I have been perpetrating my antics on the rest of mortal humanity for upwards of 1 billion seconds now. From the metric perspective and given the current life expectancy rates, the 1 billion second mark is about as major as it gets. This is an especially meaningful achievement for me because most of my daily business (debatably**) is performed using a base 10 number system.

Oh yeah. Happy Birthday to Russell too. Maybe we can combine parties.

*I did not factor in the many unnoticed yet collectively significant moments in my life when I was imperceptibly dead for a few fractions of a second but then came back to life. Nor did I take into account the time periods when I remained alive, but may have travelled through time to future/past dates for (mis)adventures only to return to the exact same moment when I had left.

**Discussion of "daily business" makes reference to time measurement which employs a sexagesimal system. So unless one is using metric time, how could most of one’s "daily" business be performed using a decimal system? Also, my nationalist spirit makes me resent any imposition of the metric system at the expense of US customary units. So while I am forced to live and work in a metric world, I am not of a metric world. In other words, I am not a metrisexual***.

***Metrisexual – n. a term coined by me which means a person who loves the metric system.
(note: this term can be modified using the standard metric prefixes to indicate the degree of a person’s love of the metric system. For example, an average European might be a metrisexual, a high school physics teacher might be a kilometrisexual, and Bill Nye might be a megametrisexual).

Consider your mind(s) blown…………….now. (explosion sound occurring inside your head from your mind getting blown and possibly some smoke vapors coming out of your ears and nose)