Has it really been more than an entire week since I posted part one of my Car Story? Shoot! Well, at least there was a good intermission. All good stories need an ending, so lets hope this is it. I'm not caffeinated so it may be more coherent or more boring.
Car Story Part Two
The greasiest, tannest, skinniest, pot-smokiest, talkiest, Vietnam vet who ever did work out of his double wide trailer turned out to be a good mechanic for the Mr. and Mrs. He took longer than the agreed upon duration of the repair but since the Mr. and Mrs. were a four car family, they weren't too concerned. He was able to fix what needed to be fixed and tell the Mr. how to repair the radio on his own, which was important for the Mrs. as she had become convinced that no one in their right mind would ever buy a car with a busted radio.
The time had finally come where the Neon was drivable. The Mrs. did some cleaning. In the glove compartment, she found the package of Jolt gum that the Mr. had given her when she was always tired and doing a lot of driving in grad school as well as some outdated electronics manuals (weird). The rest of the car yielded an old Lemonheads CD, gas receipts from 2005, M&Ms that didn't quite make it into her mouth, a bag of books that were denied passage into the local used book store, and a lot of other kipple. A car wash removed bird poop that had been caked on to the hood for longer than she cared to admit (a sigh of relief was breathed as she was worried the poop had eaten away the paint) and some vacuuming removed the embarrassing amount of dirt that had accumulated on the floors. A quick photo shoot, a short write up praising the virtues of a car 10 years old, and viola! The car was Craig's Listed.
Within ten minutes, calls inundated the Mrs. It was as if she was selling The Most Desirable Thing on the Planet. And let's face it, it probably was. Teenagers, non-English speakers, people calling from work on the sly, people offering an additional $50 if the Mrs would hold it for them, those who would only communicate via text (RU still selling the Neon?)...you name it, they called. One guy called and wanted to see it but didn't have a ride. Sorry buddy, that's your responsibility. Appointments were made for people to see the car that night; subsequent callers were told to call back the next day to see if it had sold.
A few hours later, when the Mr. was home (the Mrs. did not want to be kidnapped and then beheaded by the Craig's List Killer), they showed the vehicle to their first inquirer, a college sophomore named Oscar who was accompanied by his mechanic grandfather and his chatty mother and stepfather. The Mrs. thought it was a good omen because she wanted to name their first born Oscar (the Mr. was not into that one). Like all good shoppers, they looked under the hood, gave it a test drive, and talked in a huddle. The Mr. and Mrs. put on the pressure, explaining that two other people were coming over to look at the car within the next hour and that the people had been calling non-stop since the ad was posted. It didn't take much convincing though, because Oscar knew he had found the car of his dreams. Sold!
The next evening, an inspired Mr. adjusted his ad for the Buick. The price was lowered about one hundo and some extra adjectives were used. It must have been buy Old Cars Week in the Old Pueblo because now the Mr.'s phone was ringing ringing ringing. Sure enough, that same guy who religiously called all those other times called right away...
"Hey, is the 1995 Cutlass Sierra Oldsmobile still available?"
"Yeah man, you are welcome to come see it" said the Mr.
"I'm already on my way."
"Uh, hey man, we aren't home right now."
"When are you going to be home?"
"Probably like a half an hour."
"That's OK. I'll wait in your driveway."
That's how bad he wanted it. The Mrs. was a little irritated as she was not yet finished with her piece of pizza (it was Costco dinner night) but this situation was not in her control.
When the family got home, that man was waiting in the driveway, as promised. The Mr. gave him the 411, reminding him of the broken door handle, the faulty windows, and the lack of AC. The guy assured the Mr. that he wanted the Oldsmobile and proceeded to give the Mr. a $200 deposit, since some logistics had to be worked out the next morning, during business hours. The Mr. tried to assure him that wasn't necessary, but the man was adamant.
The next morning, the man showed up a half hour early. The Mrs. explained the Mr. was at the bank, getting title and bill of sale notarized.
"Oh, I just thought I'd come early, just in case he was ready."
"I'm sorry...he'll be here in a 1/2 hr, just like you guys arranged..." She was not about to let him in. He wasn't suspicious, per se, but she still did not want to take a risk because you just never know who the next Craig's List Killer could be.
"Oh, that's all right...I'll just drive around for a while, I guess." He later told the Mr. that he came early because he wanted to get a jump start on repairing the windows and door... The man had found his soul car.
This is the end of the story. It is probably incredibly anti-climatic but it was kind of a big deal for the Mr. and Mrs, seeing as they were a four car family for a long time and then, in the space of two days, they were a two car family again. They learned that it is kind of fun to sell something on the internet, especially when you don't get killed by the Craig's List Killer. They also learned that once in a super moon, someone can be obsessed with the type of car you are selling, which is a match made in heaven, but only if you price it right. The Mrs., having met someone named Oscar who was perfectly acceptable, learned that Oscar should definitely be the name of their second son, if one should ever come into the picture.
A month or so has passed and the Mr. and Mrs. haven't heard from the Oscar or the Oldsmobile lover, which is good news because that would have sucked big time if they had sold their cars and then had them blow-up or something on their new owners. The Mr. and Mrs. lived happily ever after, with the Mrs. being the fairest of them all and the Mr. eating four dozen eggs every morning to help him get large. Pretty soon he'll start eating five dozen, making him roughly the size of a barge.
The End.
