Car Story Intermission

While we're all waiting for Alison to finish the epic Car Story, I thought that the least I could do would be to provide some halftime entertainment in the form of a trivia question/vocabulary lesson. The vocabulary lesson comes first. Please read this definition carefully:

Poop-kick [poop-kik]
–verb
1. to strike excrement with the foot or feet
2. to defecate while striking an object with the foot or feet or while making a thrusting motion with the leg
3. to transfer excrement which is pooled or caked on one’s foot to another surface by striking it with the foot

Now for the question. Which of these did Russell do on Sunday?

A: 1
B: 2
C: 3
D: 1 & 2
E: 2 & 3
F: 1 & 3
G: All of the above

What you may not have completely understood from the above is that this is one of those questions where somebody asks you something like "Guess who the Bachelor gave the final rose to?" and then immediately tells you that it was the crappier one before giving you the opportunity to guess.

The correct answer is G: All of the above. Russell was definitely wiggling/kicking around in a strange way while he was defecating as evidenced by his ability to somehow poop out of his diaper and into the footsie of his sleeper with minimal poop trailing on his leg. Since I was the one who touched him last, I assumed the responsibility to clean up the mess. After Russell's sleeper was removed but before the full extent of the poop spread was realized, Russell decided to re-enact the day of his birth by kicking his excrement-slathered foot against my shirt thereby transferring his footprint in feces instead of ink. Russell later went on to kick some of the poop that made it onto the changing table via his back.

Now you know a new word that you can use while parenting, babysitting or watching or playing soccer.