Friday, January 30, 2009

Road Rage

I was driving home from work late last night when I was exposed to a monstrosity that looked something like this:

That's right, it was the Pontiac Aztek. I was terrified and angry. Driving one of these cars is irresponsible. The Aztek is easily the ugliest car on American roads and I hate it. It reminds me of this abomination that I used to see in France:

This is known as the Fiat Multipla. It was designed by Homer J. Simpson. The upper row of headlights is uglier than Large Marge.

These cars fill me with so much rage that I have to give myself a test for steroids after I see them to be sure that Alison isn't injecting me with performance enhancing drugs in my sleep so that I can be in the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.

9 comments:

Ricky and Kristi Rogers said...

you are hilarious! i cant stop laughing. that is pretty ugly.
kristi

Ryan said...

The "Dolphin" as I called it in Poland, was nearly the ugliest car in the world, but don't forget the El Camino-esque Chevy Avalanche when it first came out. All plastic hideousness. Good call on the Aztec.

Samuel R said...

Thanks for introducing Sharon to Pee Wee Herman.

Kristen said...

Isn't the Aztec the one that has a tent attachment for the trunk so you can "camp out" in the back?

I didn't even notice the upper row of lights until you pointed them out-weird!

The Cowley Tribe said...

what an abomination! I laugh until my sides hurt every time I tune into your blog. You two are legit (as my son would say)
Loves

Shelley said...

I think you may have anger issues.

Brandon said...

My ranting on the internet doesn't mean that I have anger issues. It only means that I'm American.

Danny and Erin said...

We used to call it the fat roll car in the Netherlands.

Melanie said...

Yes, we had a neighbor with an Aztec, same color, too, and I used to cringe whenever I saw it driving up or down the street. But what can I say? We used to drive an AMC Pacer, truly the ugliest car of all time. What a come-down from my first car, a great little standard Saab 99e!