Life

This will be brief because I have NO time to be wasting on the Internet...but after I wrote that last post, I spoke with my good friend Beth who told me that our high school crush, Paul Anderson, died of a brain tumor. Wow. He was 29. This is the only thing I was able to find on his death. We used to be in the same photography class and I always anticipated being able to flirt with him in the darkroom. He was Beth's first kiss...Of course I hadn't seen him for over five years, but it has definitely made me reflect on my memories of him and well as wonder what ever happened so many people I knew back then.

Paul's death was also coupled with the news that someone Brandon and I briefly knew passed away of leukemia. Brandon's brother, Tyler, knew him much better so the loss I'm sure is harder on him. Life is so short and unpredictable. Stay healthy everyone. XOXO

Satellite

Last night I was driving home from my internship and an acoustic version of Dave Matthews’ Satellite came on. It was such a mellow, slow, and almost sweet version of the song—I don’t think I’d ever heard that particular version before. As I listened I became mesmerized and nostalgic. I suddenly missed being a teenager and wanted in that instant nothing more but to hang out late with friends in the warm warm warm Tucson nights, drive with the windows down and the radio loud, and wear flip flops, tank-tops, and holey jeans.

I remembered going to Dave Matthews concerts, thinking to myself in naivety, “My kids will be amazed that I actually got to see Dave Matthews in concert!” Mom and Dad, this is the first time you’ve ever heard this, but I actually snuck into one of their concerts. They were playing at the Desert Sky Pavilion in Phoenix; my friends and I drove up without tickets, planning to buy them from scalpers once we got there. On the way, there was a huge monsoon storm…the type where the visibility drops to zero because of the dust, rain, and wind and everyone drives white knuckled. That made traffic terribly slow and by the time we got there, there was not a ticket to be found for under $200. Instead of turning around and driving another two hours home, we walked the perimeter of Desert Sky Pavilion (an outside arena with grass seating) and found a gap in the fence. If I remember correctly, the gap was high and at the end of a particular segment of fencing. Some concert attendees on the inside helped us dislodge the fencing even more so that we could climb through… everyone banded together to get us inside. As I jumped down, my skirt flipped up and I think people saw my underwear. Oops. The last of us made it through just as the police were coming. By the time they got there, we had disappeared into the sea of people, feeling smug, exhilarated and like it was meant to be.

And now…here I am. I don’t really get to go to concerts much anymore and I can’t remember the last time I jumped a fence, not to mention do something illegal. Of course my life is much richer, much more meaningful, and something I would never want to trade. I’m becoming my goals and am the happiest I think I’ve ever been. But it seems that the stakes are higher now, too. Between bills and decisions and ticking clocks and facing inadequacies in much more daunting ways, it is just so different from those days when I could stay out late in vintage clothing and know silly Dave Matthews songs by heart.

Happy New Year!

We haven't had a chance to write for a while because we no longer have internet at our house. Since I'm back in school, my Mondays and Tuesdays are pretty much full blown days on campus...with the world wide web easily at hand. I basically treat the internet like an IV during those two days because it never leaves me and is always at hand.

Not having internet is a bummer, but believe it or not, Brandon and I actually talk to each other at night now, as opposed to IMing each other from across the room and we waste less time in the pursuit of finding out whether or Sasquatch is real or who won the world championship of junior varsity football.

In our blogging absence, I've been formulating many entries that I know you'd love to read...the most important of which include my New Year's Resolutions. While I have a couple that are slightly meaningful and will hopefully advance my attempts to be a better person, one of the most important ones include: Beat Brandon at a Game.

You see I am actually fairly competitive. There is a classic example of this. Last year, I was in class about Clinical Theory and we did some experiential exercise where we had to lead a blindfolded classmate through an obstacle course. The blindfolded classmate was supposed to be a client and the whole exercise was supposed to be a metaphor for the barriers clients experience when receiving treatment. It was indeed quite cheesy.

The whole time the teacher was explaining the exercise, I was analyzing the obstacle course and figuring out how to lead my client through it better than anyone else. When the professor finished explaining the rules, I raised my hand and try to say in my nicest-social work-y voice, "Um, are we just doing this to do it, or are we trying to get our clients to win?" And the whole class totally laughed, something I still don't understand because I was asking a genuine question. Social workers aren't make that "ha ha you're an idiot' laugh. Sheesh!

So back to my resolution. Whenever Brandon and I play a game, I lose. Every single time. It could be a serious thinking game or a mindless card game. It totally irritates me and I usually ask to quit about 3/4 through the game because I don't want know how many points I actually lost by. Brandon, as always, is incredibly sweet and empathetic about it. He usually agrees that for the sake of our marriage, we quit now. The last time we played a game, he said something like, "You're not bad, I just happen to be a really good game player." Thanks honey. Sometimes he offers to 'hold back' so as to let me win, which I never take him up on. I want my win to be bona fide.

What my New Year's Resolution comes down to, I suppose, is that I WANT TO WIN, dangit. And have fun of course since that's what games are all about. ;)