Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I’m taking this brief respite from my indefinite sabbatical from blogging to commemorate a momentous event in my life. I like to think of it as a sabbatical sabbatical. Here we go…

(drum roll)

At some point in the past 24 hours I reached a major milestone in my daily pursuit to remain alive. By my rough calculations*, I just passed the 1 billion second mark. That’s right - I have been perpetrating my antics on the rest of mortal humanity for upwards of 1 billion seconds now. From the metric perspective and given the current life expectancy rates, the 1 billion second mark is about as major as it gets. This is an especially meaningful achievement for me because most of my daily business (debatably**) is performed using a base 10 number system.

Oh yeah. Happy Birthday to Russell too. Maybe we can combine parties.

*I did not factor in the many unnoticed yet collectively significant moments in my life when I was imperceptibly dead for a few fractions of a second but then came back to life. Nor did I take into account the time periods when I remained alive, but may have travelled through time to future/past dates for (mis)adventures only to return to the exact same moment when I had left.

**Discussion of "daily business" makes reference to time measurement which employs a sexagesimal system. So unless one is using metric time, how could most of one’s "daily" business be performed using a decimal system? Also, my nationalist spirit makes me resent any imposition of the metric system at the expense of US customary units. So while I am forced to live and work in a metric world, I am not of a metric world. In other words, I am not a metrisexual***.

***Metrisexual – n. a term coined by me which means a person who loves the metric system.
(note: this term can be modified using the standard metric prefixes to indicate the degree of a person’s love of the metric system. For example, an average European might be a metrisexual, a high school physics teacher might be a kilometrisexual, and Bill Nye might be a megametrisexual).

Consider your mind(s) blown…………….now. (explosion sound occurring inside your head from your mind getting blown and possibly some smoke vapors coming out of your ears and nose)


Sam said...

would you accept the title of being a micrometrisexual?

Brandon said...

I would definitely accept the title of "micrometrisexual". However, the most correct description is "facultative ametrisexual".

Shelley said...

As much as I love Brandon, I am ready for Alison to post again.

Shelley said...

OK, you are killing me. I need a Russell update. You have to have a computer by now!!!

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