Deseret Bomb

I received in the mail today the current Deseret Book (bookstore owned by the LDS church)catalog. Before I threw it in Alison's recycling box (which will soon be recycled itself), I decided to peruse the selections. That's when I saw the sad, sad, sad, sad, utterly depressing state of LDS fiction. Let's reframe that: That's when I saw the glorious future of LDS unintentional comedy. What I saw was the blurb for "Abinadi". I encourage you to follow the hyperlink so that you can read LuAnn's sparkling review. If you decide not to, here's the blurb:

"Raquel has a secret. As the daughter of one of King Noah’s
priests, she enjoys a luxurious life and the admiration of powerful men. But her
heart belongs to a commoner, a man with no earthly wealth but rich heavenly
gifts. When King Noah demands that Raquel join his harem, she flees the only
life she has known and marries her secret love. His name is Abinadi.

The couple finds abundant joy in their community of believers and in their firstborn
son. But when the Lord calls Abinadi as His prophet, their faith is tested to
the outermost limits. Abinadi’s commitment to the Lord requires them both to
give their all—even unto death. Yet if Alma, the newest priest in King Noah’s
court, chooses to overcome his troubled past and cleave unto the truth, their
sacrifice may yield rich fruit.

With vivid detail and poignant emotion, this
historical novel pulls readers into a fiery tale of love, courage, and faith
that is difficult to put down and impossible to forget."

This is for real. Imagine the doors that this book opens. Here's my own poorly thought out plot for some young adult fiction:

"Teenage Moses and Aaron become tired of the Pharaoh's strict ways and decide to play some pranks. Hilarity ensues as they perform hijinks around the royal palace. When the Pharaoh grounds them in order to get some peace and quiet, the two boys set sail on a memorable rafting trip down the Nile. Will they make it back in time to take their Egyptian dates to MORP?"

Does this plot seem as terrible as it would have had you not just read about "Abinadi"?

I just deleted a bunch of stuff that I had written here because what I really want to say is that it is an obviously terrible idea to write alternative plots to Book of Mormon stories and pretend that they're worth reading when they're truly absurd - just like it is a terrible idea to let otherwise reputable recording artists make Christmas albums and pretend that the music that they make is worth hearing when it's sounds hardly better than a hobo band.

Where's Brandon?

A)
B)
C)D)

A) Behind the bed
B) In the hot tub, that was was too easy.
C) He's not in this one. That was a trick.
D) By the TV cabinet

P.S Dad, these are pics from the timeshare condo (picture a is the 2nd bedroom and pictures b and c are of the master bedroom). If you can't tell, it was pretty nice! Thanks for sharing...see you on Wednesday!

P.P.S Brandon and I think these pictures are hilarious.

P.P.S.S We went to Orlando a few weeks ago and had soooo much fun. When we get around to it, we'll post pictures of our trip to Disney's Magic Kingdom (which was seriously so awesome).

The Magic of the Season

Just because it's cold outside (and it has been very cold in Denver), doesn't mean that we can't all feel love. This is a picture that I found in an email sent to me. It completely reflects the beauty and warmth that this season brings out in people. Long live the Arctic Sorceress.

Happy Holidays!!

Below is the Christmas E-Letter we sent out to some of our family and friends. Sorry if you have already seen this! Unfortunately, this version doesn't have the ultra cliche Christmas tree border around the text. I couldn't figure out how to import files made in Publisher.

December 14, 2008

Dear Family and Friends,

We always love getting Christmas cards and letters but haven’t known how to contribute to the annual parade of friend and family updates in a way that wouldn’t bore everyone to tears since we don’t have kids to show off. So after being inspired by a slew of e-Holiday Letters that made this process seem both low key and affordable, here’s our 1st an-nual holiday letter, complete with a cheesy Christmas tree border (and we’re not yet sure if either the border or this letter is for better or for worse)!

2008 started off when the Jeopardy! folks called Brandon with an invi-tation to be on the show. Brandon was so excited that Alison almost gave him a paper bag to hyperventilate in. We flew out to California for a taping where he ended up doing a fantastic job by coming in sec-ond to a brilliant nerd that was essentially bred to be on the show. The whole experience was exciting not only because it was an opportu-nity to win money and be on TV, but because it was a celebration that Brandon was chosen to be on a show he has always enjoyed. So, if you keep your eye out, you might see him on a Jeopardy rerun!

Spring was characterized by an inordinate amount of school work for both of us as we each finished our semesters for our respective gradu-ate school programs. In June, however, Alison received her Masters in Social Work from the University of Denver. While she hasn’t yet been forgiven for making the family sit through the long procession, she was thrilled to graduate and continues to ‘gently’ remind Brandon that she is the Master of the house, not him.

Since the onset of summer, the months have flown by…mainly because Brandon started the rotations that comprise his final year of pharmacy school (he’ll be graduating in May!) and works part-time as a pharmacy intern. Alison also started her first real job with her hard earned Mas-ters as an in-home family therapist. So in the midst of everything, we find ourselves busy but fortunate to be immersed in activities we both enjoy and have had our hearts set on doing.
We have topped the year off with the decision for Brandon to do a pharmacy residency. While we are unsure where this will take us, we are confident that this will be a great and fulfilling career move for Brandon.

We have fortunately managed to travel beyond the streets of Denver by taking some short trips to Rocky Point, Mexico; Moab, Utah; San Clemente, California; Rocky Mountain N ational Park, Colorado; and Orlando, Florida. We keep trying to remind ourselves that we work-to-live and not the other way around.

Hopefully this letter wasn’t too obnoxious; mostly we wanted to say hello to those we love and let you know that you all are frequently in our thoughts, memories, and even prayers.
May the holiday season and New Year bring you comfort and joy.

Love,

Brandon and Alison

Our Year in Pictures...





Clockwise from Above: Arches, UT; Disney’s Magic Kingdom; Fall leaves in the Rocky Mtns; top of Mt. Evans (14. 000 ft!).

Make it a Double

Rachel Ray eat your heart out. Welcome to your first peek at the culinary revolution that I started. To my knowledge, I'm the first person ever to make a double hot dog. Why no one has extended the concept of double hamburgers to hot dogs is unclear to me, but it was obviously long overdue.

Undefeated

Thank you Max Hall.

Stuff I'm Sure You Really Want to Know

Last year, around this time, we bought a queen-sized down comforter because we had been sharing a twin-sized one and it just wasn't working out. We had only been married for a few months and hadn't fully settled in. And you'll have to remember that I pretty much get used to inconvenience at a lightening quick speed (remember this and this?). I suppose we got serious about getting a bigger comforter when we could no longer deny that a.) twin-sized bedding is only meant for one person and b.) I am a cocoon sleeper and wrap myself up real tight in my blankets while I sleep. I guess I just like to be as snug as a bug in a rug. Unfortunately, that always left Brandon shivering in the night and kind of irritated in the morning.

Well, here we are, more than a year later and I have made even more progress. I finally bought a duvet cover for the comforter!! Note the double exclamation point? It is a big deal--I finally moved from the thinking-about-it to the doing-something-about-it stage! Given my major procrastination issues, sometimes I am amazed that I have a masters and real job.

In a typical Alison fashion, buying a duvet cover has been one of the biggest pains ever. So many rhetorical questions I can never fully answer! Is it too much? If I made one would it be less expensive? Does that material look cheap? Is it too girly? Will I like it in 6 months let alone 5 years? Will it be too heavy and make us hot? You see how difficult those questions are? I guess that is why I left them unanswered for an entire year.

I decided that things must change when I noticed I was grimacing when I climbed into bed, annoyed that our giant dry-clean-only comforter was now a dull white with some unsightly stains (why oh why don't I take off mascara before I go to bed?). Not a good way to beckon sleep.

So where did I find the perfect one? On overstock.com. I've never seen it in person, haven't felt the fabric, don't think it is a trusted brand, and saw an image of it for the first time tonight. Does that mean it is just that awesome? No, not really. It just means I got so sick of not having one that I became impulsive and enticed by the $2.95 flat shipping.

But it looks promising, right?
I ordered the mocha colored one. Neutral but not too boring. Actually, they didn't have any of the other colors in stock. See, I told you I acted impulsively.

In other news, I did not buy these plates at TJ Maxx tonight.
I really really wanted to though. They made me nostalgic for Christmas at home since both my Grandma and my mom have these plates. However, since I already have a Christmas china pattern and have about three other non-Christmas plate sets, I took the higher road and left them on the shelf. Sigh. Plus, there was only three and everyone knows you need enough to seat at least four. If there had been four, I don't know if I could have passed them up. $6.99 at TJ Maxx is way better than $32.95 retail, right? Here I am, several hours later and still kind of sad that I don't have them. Apparently I have a thing for pretty housewares.

The final thing I wanted to tell you about, dear Internet, is that Brandon and I are artists! A few weeks ago we made Inspiration Boards via a challenge posted on my friend Melanie's super cute blog. Since I had been feeling a little blah, I took the challenge. Brandon couldn't resist the fun and got in on it, too. Here is what we did...look closely at Brandon's. He's very proud of it and is a little bitter he didn't win (although I know he would have been sorely disappointed by the prize). I just thought it was fun and got a kick of seeing a picture of something I made on someone else's blog.

OK...was that long enough for you? Apparently I am chatty Cathy tonight. xoxo...